Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Girls and Clothes

OK, Moms, I have a question.

My daughters like to pick out their own clothes in the morning. They have VERY strong opinions on this subject. Seriously, strong opinions. So strong that on most mornings I no longer bother to fight about it and my girls go to school with diagonal striped skirts with shirts with stars in a completely different color pallet.

I don't have the energy to deal with the clothing issue now that BOTH girls are fighting me on this.

So... do I fight this, do I put my foot down or do I let them control this piece of their lives?

They feel pretty and isn't that more important than my perception of what is appropriate or am I feeding into a cycle that will continue to let them choose battles with me... and win?

There isn't a lot we give into in terms of behavior and politeness, my kids are very polite. They are respectful, they are loving and fun.

So thoughts??

Oh, also, Molly doesn't let us brush her hair, any thoughts on that?


Cheri (aka "The Mom Lady") said...

Ooo, never ask me MY opinion 'cuz you're gonna get it!

Clothes - I was of the "as long as it's clean, not illegal and not immodest, I'm not going to have a fit" category. Having said that, Jennifer was very into sets of clothings and coordinating so I didn't have much of an issue with her. The boys - they'd have run around in their underwear if I'd have let them.

When we headed to church services, we did have "good clothes" that were required. No messages on t-shirts, no shorts, always wear a belt were bylaws for the boys.

Next time it's clothes buying time, buy stuff that all goes with each other so it doesn't make any difference if it really bothers you. Easier said than done especially if grandparents throw wardrobe into the fray (like I'm always doing).

Jessica said...

Personally? It bugs the hell out of me when Evan (or Ethan for that matter) puts together an ensemble that just doesn't belong. And I'm very lucky that Evan 1) doesn't have that problem too often and 2) when he does, is usually willing to change at least one of the offending articles of clothing. Except for the shamrock socks. I finally had to make the dryer 'eat' them.

We also try to buy relatively neutral clothes (so everything matches)...what about putting outfits together in advance??

Anonymous said...

let em wear what they want. they'll get it out of their systems now and won't feel the need to go goth in high school.

brushing hair: I saw start working the hair intro dreds. that would be cool.


is dueling banjos dead?

Kelly said...

I am of the belief that if they want to choose it and wear, let 'em wear it. If it is a special day (like church) give them choices. But other than that, let them wear what they want. They have so little control on their life (what to eat, when to sleep, what to do, where to go, etc) that this is something that they can choose and feel proud and "grown up" about.

I was just talking to my mom about this yesterday--my sister loved to pick out her clothes. And if she decided today was a bathing suit day, then she wore a bathing suit. Even in January. Unless they had to go out.

I always wanted to wear my mouse costume with a grey tutu.

I am grateful that Reagan doesn't care what he wears. :)

anne watson said...

Claire doesn't care what she wears....most days. Some days she'll tell me she wants to wear a dress, so I give her 2 choices and she picks. Same with shirts and shorts.

We buy a lot of things that are in the same color pallate that might not go together, but can match ok. Maybe thought that's just because I like pink and purple.

As for the hair brushing, Madeline is making it more difficult for us to brush her hair. I have to sort of hold her down to brush it when she gets out of the shower. Otherwise, it's so fine that she really doesn't need it to be brushed, too much. I let her do it herself and it usually looks ok

Unknown said...

I know that we talked about this yesterday, however I also thought of the McDonald's commercial where the little girl plays 'dress up' and has boa with a bandana and cowboy hat. Ya know, it is the moments that she gets something together that doesn't go together that really gets me smiling and seeing her personality. She is dressed, she is decent and has a style all her own.

I love it even more when she asks me on those days, "How do I look Mommy?" and I just have to say "Beautiful". She preens and she is content and happy, that is ultimately the best gift I can give and receive.

3XMom said...

yeah, as long as its not indecent or weather-inappropriate (and really, just not enought clothes for winter)..I don't fight it. I may sometime throw in a note that "she dressed herself this morning" for her teachers, but I don't fight it. Now..when they get older it may be another story.

I have the same problem with hair brushing. They are required to brush it themselves. If it still looks bad, it has to go in a pony tail or braids or such.

Anonymous said...

Children have so little decision making power that I too let them wear what they want. Anna wore her last year's halloween costume to camp the other day (and looked adorable and charmed the whole place) My eldest daughter wears shorts until Dec to school...the way I look at it... she should know if she's cold. On the hair issue -- I let Anna buy her own hair brush and leave in hair conditioner and set it all up on her vanity and she gets into doing it herself now

Amy said...

Did you ready my post a few weeks ago about our little Peyton dressing herself...I even let her go to the store in her ensemble...

One of the gals that read my blog gave a really good idea. My problem is is that I like to have my children match...combed hair, gel...whatever...as long as they match...I could look like crud...but that's another story. This gal made stickers that she could give her girls that said 'Look, I dressed myself today'...hooray!

No blame on us for our matching skills! I thought it was a great idea!

Sometimes I'll fight it depending upon where we are going...church, parties...I decide. She wore a pirate hat to the grocery store yesterday...

rebekca said...

Let em choose it. My mom let me. And now I have a class photo from elementary school where I am in the front row (because I am petite) wearing....

turquoise leg warmers and a dark brown fall colored wool skirt.

I can't believe my mom let me wear it, but she says I insisted. I was happy then. Embarassed now, but happy then.